Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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