Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
