we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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