I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
