Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
