Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
