All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
