How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
