The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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