is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
