Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Farmville is her only friend.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
