Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
