I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
