Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
