I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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