I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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