Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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