I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
