see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
