I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
