You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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