I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
