I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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