STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
