I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
