Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize