Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
