I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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