he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
