why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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