Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
