Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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