I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
