Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
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I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize