its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
