I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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