Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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