onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
zippers are such a cool invention
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
