i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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