that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
