Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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