I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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