I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Randomize
