you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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