Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
