why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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