Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
