Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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