Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
