Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
