So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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