I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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