It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
