I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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