Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
