I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize