I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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