did you get engaged???
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
